I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
this will be a night to untag.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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