You're completely useless in the revolution.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have post one night stand depression
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
