Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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