My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
