u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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