hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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