Having a random hookup so left but love u
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So vagazzling was a success
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
