Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
