I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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