i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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