D3 body, D1 cock
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Can I color on your dick again?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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