i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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