you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
