I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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