i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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