anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize