Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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