Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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