Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
