um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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