Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
