So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
