better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
