ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
