She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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