I wish I could teleport
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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