If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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