Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
