He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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