After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
