I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
