You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
