If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize