there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
