I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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