sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
