Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
