Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
