Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize