This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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