i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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