does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im holly from the hills drunk
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
