he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
