did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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