Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize