No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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