she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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