He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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