I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
