Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
