TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My breasts were aching with rage.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize