The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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