Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
