I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
