I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize