Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
