So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
