No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
