so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They have beer where we have blood.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
