i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
