I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
