Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
