I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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