Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ttyl tear gas
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
