Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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