i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
